I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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