and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
