i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
