I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
