That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
