Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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