I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
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