Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
