I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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