is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
