Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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