Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
