Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
