she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
