Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
