i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
