After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
