One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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