I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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