Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
