Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
