Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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