Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
