sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
