2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Who died my cat blue again?
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