i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
