Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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