Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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