so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
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