We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
