no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
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