My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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