You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
