Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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