I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
