I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just want nice things and good sex
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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