Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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