When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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