Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
