I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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