whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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