she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
