arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize