I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
