You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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