When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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