no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
