I want to stick my p in your. b.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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