is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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