We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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