he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
