I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
