the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
the gays at disneyland are vicious
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
