Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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