Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
