Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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