who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
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