and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize