So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
