my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Randomize
