He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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