i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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