I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
