Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
