Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
