She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
