chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
