It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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