Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
