Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Randomize