508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
