If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I smell stomach acid.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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