Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
